Walking on Broken Glass.

Your thoughts have taken their toll

jireh is a realist.
18 on the day of A level GP paper.

getting interested in photography.after a levels i would like to learn hiphop but i think i am the kind with 2 left feet. perhaps i'd pick up the guitar. or fine tune my piano skills. and learn french. hopefully i will be able to embark on all these grand plans and master something new with my pathetic weekends.

i have never experienced love. i have never looked at anyone and felt all fuzzy. all i have ever experienced, and this is sad, is lust, loneliness, and obligation.

it gets distracting sometimes.

Sunday, April 5, 2009 @ 12:44 AM

Throughout all 18 years of my life, there are certain ages where there will be a struggle and many temptations which can change the outcome of your life. Armed with this experience and knowledge, I do not wish to stand by and watch people of these ages self destruct. I almost destroyed my life several times, really have to thank God for watching over me and pulling meto safety.

At P4, I hung around with my neighbours who were not exactly good company. I loitered around at parks and playgrounds and at the canal till the wee hours of the morning. I trespassed and climbed gates into the neighbours' garden. I broke stuff and didn't own up. I threw ice into neighbours' house.

At P6, I discovered the magic of gaming. Thanks to guidance, I managed to scrape a relatively good PSLE score and was top 5% of my cohort.

At S1, I sank deep in a disastrous relationship.

At S2, I made everything numb and forced myself to lose all emotion by gaming avidly again. Rebelling was cool, emoing was cool, going against authority was cool. I did all that and more. My grades suffered.

At S3, Decided to turn my life around. It wasn't easy, I was starting from scratch. Got into another rship which didnt work out - auditioned to numb that too.

It is easy to look back upon those tumultuous years of my early adolescence and speak wise words now, but during those years I would never have paid much thought to all this. When everyone around you was rebelling, when it seemed cool to behave like a delinquent and go against authority, when your emotions were on a rollercoaster ride, when you were experimenting with your first relationships.....it is very easy to lose touch of what matters and lose your focus.

Amidst all that confusion in one's teenage years, I do hope my words today will leave food for thought for people undergoing tough periods in their life. So many times I was in despair, so many times when it seemed difficult to turn around and do what I ought to do, and yet I succeeded and today here I stand.

Never be so quick to declare yourself a delinquent and a lost cause and give yourself over to forces of temptation. Nobody should ever give up on themselves. If you give up on yourself, how do you expect other people to still harbour hope for you?